Sunday 16 September 2012

The Final Destination!

The Final Destination




The topic of a special lecture on the first day of my class was "The final journey". Since most people cringe at the mere mention of the word "death!", this series of lectures made a lot of people very uncomfortable and rightly so. Death is not supposed to be a pleasant topic and it should make us shift in our seats. Trouble with most of us is that we get irritated when someone starts to talk about it and in a few passing moments we swiftly change the subject to something 'more pleasant'. My personal reading from people who say "Oh! Please don't start talking about such things!" is that they don't make such statements out of fear (which is their claim) but out of sheer heedlessness. People just don't want to remember death because it takes the fun out of everything. One day, my life will be over and since I don't know the time or date or place, I might as well strive to prepare for it now. There is no greater fool than a person who holds the Quran in his hands and reads about the ways of the Prophet SAWS and still doesn't fear the day of recompense or spend his days preparing for it. 

Here are some of the key thoughts shared during the lecture:

Focus on the end and not the means-to-the-end!

My teacher asked the class an opening question: "What do you live for?". I thought in my head "to have a good life!". As if she read my mind she spoke my unsaid words as the general thought in the class. I thought to myself, what a good start for me. My teacher and I think alike. She had resonated my answer and I was so sure that I got it right. Until she said some real words of wisdom. She said: "We shouldn't live to have a good life rather we should live to have a good death!". It may seem like the same thing at first but when you think about there lies a big difference in the focus. A good life is not the end. It is a means to an end. A good life must lead to a good death otherwise there is nothing really good about it. I realized that when we shift our focus towards our death, only then does it make sense as to why I do any good that Allah gives me the opportunity to do. So that if I die the very next second, I will die while preparing for this ultimate moment of truth. 

Death does not need an invitation

Sadly, whenever I have thought about dyeing I always imagine myself to be old, really old. The reality is that within the span of my life, I have seen unborn babies die, little infants die, teenagers die, young twenty somethings die, middle aged super active and healthy people die as well as the old &feeble. Pretty much covers every age bracket. So it makes me think, what is the guarantee that I will die only when I am old? There is none. My teacher said that some one from the group may die today in a car crash or an accident. I was thinking to myself, Allah does not even need to create a situation. I just may take one breath and struggle for the next only to never breathe again. And that's it. It is but Allah's mercy on us that He prepares us to expect death by sickness or accidents etc. It His mercy, because it gives us a chance to re-connect with Him, ask for forgiveness and mentally prepare for the final journey. 

There is no third place!
The most obvious yet profound thing our teacher said during the lecture was that after judgement has been made you will be either awarded a place in heaven or hell. There is no third place. We all know that but then why are so many of our good deeds not 100 percent good? There is always some bad that mixes in with the good deed. A lot of the times, we do some good deeds and some in-between deeds and some bad deeds. Like algebra, all three types of deeds will stay separate: x+y+z. If there aren't enough good wholesome deeds, chances are we may not be heading towards the desired destination.  

Makes you think - Is that what I think when I do or say something - that this will either take me one step closer to heaven or one step closer to hell. Chances are not! Next time you open your mouth to backbite about someone, let this thought foil your attempt!

So many of our daily actions are not good enough and need a lot of improvement. As long as we realize that and are on the road to progress, that's a good thing. But if we are procrastinating then we may be in a lot of trouble. If death comes calling, we won't have much luggage in the form of good deeds to take with us. 30 or 40 or 50years of life cannot be reduced to just a few good deeds. Don't settle for it. Become greedy for good deeds and keep your intentions clear while collecting them. 


How to be prepared?

1. Read up books on the subject. You have to believe in Heaven to want to work towards it. And if the accounts of hell and death scare you then that's a good thing. It means that your soul is still alive! Believing in this reality consciously is the first step. I recommend the book "Mera Jeena Mera Marna". It contains all the information that we would require on such an occasion - spiritually and practically speaking. 

2. Know all the Prophet's SAWS sunnah on such an occasion.  Islam teaches us the etiquette to be followed for the living as it does for the dead and we should know the Prophet's way of honoring the deceased. Make sure you have some books that have the duas of Istighfar in them so people get busy reading them instead of anything else. I recommend "Etiquettes of expressing grief and mourning the dead"- its available in Urdu and English. 

3. Make sure you know the procedure for Ghusl and have some written material as guidance handy. 

4. Make sure you are calm and give comfort to the grieving family by saying duas and praying for the deceased. Do not say "It was so sad to hear about your loss", instead say, "May Allah grant you patience and forgive the deceased". Focus on the positive and don't be negative. Being 'sad' implies that this person's life should not have been taken away. When in reality we all belong to Allah and it is His Will to take our life when He pleases. 

5. Write a will which contains instructions of what things you want done on the occasion of your own death and things you want your family to actively avoid - like bidah of reciting the entire Quran in the house of the deceased or reading kalimah on beads or having a soyem function etc. All these are innovations, that will hurt the deceased in his grave. So it's better to write what you want done and what you forbid. This way you will not be blamed for any wrong doings. Leave this document with someone close to you so that they execute it when the time comes. For this you need to read about the Sunnah of the Prophet SAWS on the occasion of someone's death.

6. Make sure someone close knows of all your assets and their value so that drawing up the inheritance according to the Islamic Shariah is not a big challenge and can be done in a timely manner. Apparently, most people don't mind having Chicken Biryani and Mutton Korma just an hour after someone's tadfeen but to talk about inheritance or repaying debts  to ease the deceased seems a hurtful topic to broach. There is a time for merriment and this is not the time, so we need to get our priorities straight. 

7. Loved ones should prepare something from their home for the grieving family - this is a sunnah! Feed the poor as sadaqa from the deceased - this is sadaqah jariah. But this is not a time fore merriment so let's NOT organize a catered lunch/dinner. You eat out or do take away when your happy not when you are sad!

8. Live today like there is no tomorrow. Pack your day with good deeds and lots of Dhikr and duas. We all put the alarm for the next morning not knowing if we will really wake up -that's hope! 

9. Ramadhan is a great time to make new resolutions - Here is one that I want you to think about even though Ramadhan is over - Join an institute to learn and understand the Quran and Sunnah of the Prophet SAWS. 10 months to 3 years is the time it takes depending on where you are going but you owe this to yourself. Trust me you are operating in the dark if you have not studied the Quran and Hadith. Think about it and Just do it! If anyone says that it's not so easy, then tell yourself: "Allah created me and He made the Quran guidance for me so why would I not be able to understand it?" Satan will try and make it hard for you and you know what to do with him. 

And Remember, 

“A man is the one who fears the death of his heart, not his body.” 


-Ibn al-Qayyim

May Allah guide us to straight path, forgive our sins and grant us an abode in Heaven. Ameen